Feb 16, 09 "is watching TV, but too embarrassed to say what show she's watching. now I'm watching wife swap. i need to have my remote confiscated."
Feb 25, 09 "is figuring out how to put purple fur on her daughter's wall ... don't ask."
Feb 26, 09 "is Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool, shootin some bball outside of the school"
April 10, 09 "it's one thing if you can't read someone else's writing, it's another if you can't read your own"
April 14, 09 "dropped her phone yet again and although it wasn't in the sink, her reception has gone down the drain. If you need anything, do like ET and phone home ... mine that is."
April 15, 09 "Basically if the woman has long dark hair and dark eyes... I'm told I look like her and that includes anyone's and everyone's cousin, sister or aunt."
April 20, 09 "is bored and procrastinating. Doesn't make sense, does it?"
May 15, 09 "is having an attack of the Goddess Hestia."
May 28, 09 "Working on a project, going to record the show, thinking about cleaning. To quote Meatloaf, Two out of three ain't bad"
May 28, 09 "is bummed that the after dinner mint was better than the meal"
June 10, 09 "is thinking of the packing, flying and performing."
Mike Kraft I'm thinking of the smacking, crying and reforming.
Terri Negron am thinking of laughing, dancing and smilin'
Chuck Chubbuck I am thinking of verbs.
July 9, 09 "just changed outfits about ten times for a voce over!"
August 5, 09 "is on her way to michigan ave. oops I mean to the AFTRA convention."
August 9, 09 "is flying home with a little help from the plane."
August 17, 09 "went to the pool today, found some broken glass, alerted the life guard. The pool was therefore closed for the rest of the day! Doh! No more civic duties for m"
August 20, 09 ""you shouldn't date people you're gonna say ew about in the future". Cassie Telzerow"
August 23, 09 "is watching "Rent" for the first time. hope it doesn't feel like 525,600 minutes long."
August 23, 09 "
just read a quote from Deepak Chopra and Cassie said Tupac?
Mike Kraft I hear he has a new album coming out:
Strictly 4 My B.U.D.D.H.A.Z
Strictly 4 My B.U.D.D.H.A.Z
August 24, 09 "
Tomorrow
I plan to appear as an authoritative, well versed, educated lady. I
will be very professional and conversational without being too preachy. I
will not be overly polished, announcery or model-like but attempt to be
attractive. I will appear comforting, knowledgeable and confident. I'll
be very real, the kind of person who can be trusted. Oh and I'll have a
nice smile and body image. Wtf?!"
August 28, 09 "has a blinking message indicator light on her blackberry but no message. Ooh spooky."
August 31, 09 "You should never date anyone you can't google."
Sept 2, 09 :Where's Jack Handey when I need a new status update?"
Sept 13, 09 "has been watching lots of DVDs lately. I've taken to checking out the bonus features and especially the directors comments. this will really come in handy when oh well might not ever come in handy."
Sept 13, 09 "there is luggage beyond baggage claim, luggage that breathes fresh air into your clothes, that turns shirts into socks where the wheels kiss the sidewalk. Tumi"
Sept 22, 09 "Is clearing her mind. This could take a while."
Oct 3, 09 "wants to know when woo hoo was changed to woot?"
Oct 6, 09 "has so much to do. I would prefer a more pleasant list."
Oct 8, 09 "is going to clean her place within an inch of its carpet."
Oct 25, 09 "I just quit the Mafia and killed my dog. I guess old habits die hard."
Oct 28, 09 "says don't stop moving and you won't stop moving."
Oct 28, 09 "is watching "He's Just Not That Into You" and I'm just not that into it."
Nov 5, 09 "There's nothing like looking at pics of your daughter AND her friends and they are ALL wearing your clothes!"
Nov 23, 09 "Is up but not so at 'em."
Dec 4, 09 "Every time blackberry offers me a facebook upgrade I say yes and nothing changes. I keep hoping it will wash my clothes or do something, anything better but nada."
Dec 23, 09 "Mom and I listening to radio. "I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas, I wanna wish you" Mom: I love it when they sing in other languages. Nancy: Mom, that's English. M: No but they said, alyse manitat. N:That's Feliz Navidad M: How do you say it, Felix Manidad? N: lol M:What language is that? N:Spanish. "from the bottom of my heart" Mom: but then enough is enough and it can kinda get on your nerves."
Dec 26, 09 "I find myself gravitating towards people who just let me be and don't make fun of my tights"
June 24, 11 ""This should be interesting." A statement I apparently always make when cooking, according to Cassie Lynne Telzerow."
June 24, 11 "I just made Cassie kill a piece of fuzz. Maybe sleeping 9 hours and then taking a 5 hour nap isn't the way to go."
June 26, 11 "My vacuum really needs a haircut."
June 29, 11 "Just read that Lady Gaga got blue armpit hair extensions for her latest concert. Talk about getting your hair did!!!"
June 30, 11, "Let's say you were cooking with garlic and you diced it up real good like ... then let's say you washed your hands about 57 times but your hands still smell like garlic, what do you do then?"
July 5, 11 "When removing a bandaid from your leg shouldn't all the adhesive go with it? My head says yes but my leg says nope."
July 6, 11 "Woke up, at an apple and fell asleep for hours. I feel like a Disney princess."
July 15, 11 "I think the person who invented those little strings that help a dress stay on it's hanger, is mocking me."
July 16, 11 "Mom was wrong. I can totally eat dessert before dinner and be just fine."
July 17, 11 "Cassie asked to use my eye liner sharpener yesterday. I walked into my bathroom today and there's black eye liner marks all over the floor. I think she's using it wrong"
July 29, 11 "just saw a pic of someone and thought it was me. It wasn't. I now am like every other member of my family."
Aug 13, 11 "The rooster woke me up this morning and he put himself on a 1.5 minute snooze cycle."
Aug 19, 11 "Uh oh they added more turns on the hiking trail when I was our of town. I ended up on a boardwalk in the middle of everything and may never find my car. Oops"
Aug 21, 11 "just found a bottle of tabsco in my couch ... aka I live with Kassii Lynne"
Aug 23, 11 "Taking a road trip to PA with Gladys. Gladys is my gps. Named her that because when she gets me places without getting me lost my arse Is glad!"
Aug 25, 11 "Cassie's fake bar name is John. she might wanna rethink that.Cassie's fake bar name is John. she might wanna rethink that."
Aug 27, 11 "Have you ever seen someone extinguish a candle by licking their thumb and pointer finger? Ya I don't do that."
Aug 28, 11 "I bet there's a special cleaner that peeps use to clean their computer screens. I also bet I do not know what it is."
Aug 28, 11 "thinks that being all caught up on dishes, laundry and trash removal isn't as exciting as Mom made it sound."
Sept 25, 11 "I just checked my website meter. It tells me details of how many visitors go to my blog and website. Usually my daily hits are less than 40 but lately they are in excess of 500 visitors per day! I checked the locations and they are peeps from Senegal, New Zealand, Canada, Brighton and the list goes on. I started thinking I might be what Jerry Lewis is to France, to the world! How is this possible? A little more digging ... nearly all were googling Bert from Sesame Street. Now I'm wondering what's been happening with Bert. He's totally the new Jerry Lewis of the world!"
Oct 5, 11 "Not sure why but when peeps use the phrase flop sweat in any context, I laugh."
Oct 6, 11 "My favorite yoga poses: the corpse, the baby and the look what's under the couch."
Oct 6, 11 "I'm pretty sure the girl at the Coach store was making fun of my furry Guess purse when she exclaimed it was soooo cute but can her purse double as a pet? Um no."
Oct 11, 11 "I just found out Jesus has a facebook page. Wow, this thing has really caught on."
Oct 15, 11 "I have a soft spot for cupcakes which is a lot better than having a soft spot from cupcakes."
Oct 16, 11 "I'm glad the browns don't have to play in this weather. I wouldn't wanna play football in the rain. Oh wait, I wouldn't really wanna play football"
Oct 22, 11 "Did you ever notice how peeps never compare themselves to chopped liver anymore? There must be another meat that has taken over."
Nov 4, 11, "I don't mind looking silly if in the end I learn something."
Nov 8, 11, "RIP Joe Frazier, which reminds me ... why do fighters put their fists up in front of their faces and then flick their noses with their thumbs? Or is that just something I do when I imitate them?"
Nov 10, 11 "As I was skyping a friend yesterday, while checking emails and using my hey tell walkie talkie I thought maybe this technology thing was getting out of hand but I texted another friend and she said no so it's all good."
Nov 11, 11 "You have to water the plant or it will wither and die. Have you watered your relationships today?" two years in
Nov 17, 11 "Today I was with a friend trying to recall the exact date of JFK's assassination. Siri answered my question speedily. It felt like I was cheating on my old bf, google."
Nov 18, 11 "Just asked Siri about Ricky Gervais and she said let me look up Ricky jerk face. Everybody's a Comedian."
Nov 22, 11 "My daughter's birthday is coming up. She asked for a gift certificate or a car. She likes to give me a range."
Nov 30, 11 "Success is falling nine times and getting up ten - Jon Bon Jovi. He's more than just a head of hair."
Dec 5, 11 "Auto correct likes to catch everything but apparently Turrdsday is a perfectly fine substitution for Tuesday."
Dec 10, 11 "Just read a LinkedIn post that a haunted doll was for sale. Thought it was a joke. It was not. No longer laughing."
Dec 12, 11 "Note to self. Do not use lotion you know you are allergic to and never accidentally get said lotion in your eye. I don't wanna have to tell me again."
Dec 14, 11 "When you have three places to go in a day are you hiding in corners doing the Clark Kent wardrobe change or is that just me?"
Dec 15, 11 "I got added to a gun group the other day. That is not me in any sense of the word so i opted out. Now I can only hope they don't get mad, if you know what I mean"
Dec 17, 11 "You know when you're watching a TV drama and there's an intense conversation, then a 3rd person walks into the room with the perfect solution or addition to the problem? What they don't show you is that person leaning on the door with a glass listening for 15 minutes prior."
Dec 18, 11 "Did you ever google yourself and then see there is one death record out there for you and then contemplate buying the subscription to see the record to finally discover that you are in fact not dead? Me neither. I was just wondering."
Dec 21, 11 "RT on Twitter does not mean right turn. We can all learn from this."
Dec 30, 11 "Went to church today. They changed the words. You would think that with all the hints Mom throws my way to go to mass she would have mentioned the new script."
August 28, 09 "has a blinking message indicator light on her blackberry but no message. Ooh spooky."
August 31, 09 "You should never date anyone you can't google."
Sept 2, 09 :Where's Jack Handey when I need a new status update?"
Sept 13, 09 "has been watching lots of DVDs lately. I've taken to checking out the bonus features and especially the directors comments. this will really come in handy when oh well might not ever come in handy."
Sept 13, 09 "there is luggage beyond baggage claim, luggage that breathes fresh air into your clothes, that turns shirts into socks where the wheels kiss the sidewalk. Tumi"
Sept 22, 09 "Is clearing her mind. This could take a while."
Oct 3, 09 "wants to know when woo hoo was changed to woot?"
Oct 6, 09 "has so much to do. I would prefer a more pleasant list."
Oct 8, 09 "is going to clean her place within an inch of its carpet."
Oct 25, 09 "I just quit the Mafia and killed my dog. I guess old habits die hard."
Oct 28, 09 "says don't stop moving and you won't stop moving."
Oct 28, 09 "is watching "He's Just Not That Into You" and I'm just not that into it."
Nov 5, 09 "There's nothing like looking at pics of your daughter AND her friends and they are ALL wearing your clothes!"
Nov 23, 09 "Is up but not so at 'em."
Dec 4, 09 "Every time blackberry offers me a facebook upgrade I say yes and nothing changes. I keep hoping it will wash my clothes or do something, anything better but nada."
Dec 23, 09 "Mom and I listening to radio. "I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas, I wanna wish you" Mom: I love it when they sing in other languages. Nancy: Mom, that's English. M: No but they said, alyse manitat. N:That's Feliz Navidad M: How do you say it, Felix Manidad? N: lol M:What language is that? N:Spanish. "from the bottom of my heart" Mom: but then enough is enough and it can kinda get on your nerves."
Dec 26, 09 "I find myself gravitating towards people who just let me be and don't make fun of my tights"
June 24, 11 ""This should be interesting." A statement I apparently always make when cooking, according to Cassie Lynne Telzerow."
June 24, 11 "I just made Cassie kill a piece of fuzz. Maybe sleeping 9 hours and then taking a 5 hour nap isn't the way to go."
June 26, 11 "My vacuum really needs a haircut."
June 29, 11 "Just read that Lady Gaga got blue armpit hair extensions for her latest concert. Talk about getting your hair did!!!"
June 30, 11, "Let's say you were cooking with garlic and you diced it up real good like ... then let's say you washed your hands about 57 times but your hands still smell like garlic, what do you do then?"
July 5, 11 "When removing a bandaid from your leg shouldn't all the adhesive go with it? My head says yes but my leg says nope."
July 6, 11 "Woke up, at an apple and fell asleep for hours. I feel like a Disney princess."
July 15, 11 "I think the person who invented those little strings that help a dress stay on it's hanger, is mocking me."
July 16, 11 "Mom was wrong. I can totally eat dessert before dinner and be just fine."
July 17, 11 "Cassie asked to use my eye liner sharpener yesterday. I walked into my bathroom today and there's black eye liner marks all over the floor. I think she's using it wrong"
July 29, 11 "just saw a pic of someone and thought it was me. It wasn't. I now am like every other member of my family."
Aug 13, 11 "The rooster woke me up this morning and he put himself on a 1.5 minute snooze cycle."
Aug 19, 11 "Uh oh they added more turns on the hiking trail when I was our of town. I ended up on a boardwalk in the middle of everything and may never find my car. Oops"
Aug 21, 11 "just found a bottle of tabsco in my couch ... aka I live with Kassii Lynne"
Aug 23, 11 "Taking a road trip to PA with Gladys. Gladys is my gps. Named her that because when she gets me places without getting me lost my arse Is glad!"
Aug 25, 11 "Cassie's fake bar name is John. she might wanna rethink that.Cassie's fake bar name is John. she might wanna rethink that."
Aug 27, 11 "Have you ever seen someone extinguish a candle by licking their thumb and pointer finger? Ya I don't do that."
Aug 28, 11 "I bet there's a special cleaner that peeps use to clean their computer screens. I also bet I do not know what it is."
Aug 28, 11 "thinks that being all caught up on dishes, laundry and trash removal isn't as exciting as Mom made it sound."
Sept 25, 11 "I just checked my website meter. It tells me details of how many visitors go to my blog and website. Usually my daily hits are less than 40 but lately they are in excess of 500 visitors per day! I checked the locations and they are peeps from Senegal, New Zealand, Canada, Brighton and the list goes on. I started thinking I might be what Jerry Lewis is to France, to the world! How is this possible? A little more digging ... nearly all were googling Bert from Sesame Street. Now I'm wondering what's been happening with Bert. He's totally the new Jerry Lewis of the world!"
Oct 5, 11 "Not sure why but when peeps use the phrase flop sweat in any context, I laugh."
Oct 6, 11 "My favorite yoga poses: the corpse, the baby and the look what's under the couch."
Oct 6, 11 "I'm pretty sure the girl at the Coach store was making fun of my furry Guess purse when she exclaimed it was soooo cute but can her purse double as a pet? Um no."
Oct 11, 11 "I just found out Jesus has a facebook page. Wow, this thing has really caught on."
Oct 15, 11 "I have a soft spot for cupcakes which is a lot better than having a soft spot from cupcakes."
Oct 16, 11 "I'm glad the browns don't have to play in this weather. I wouldn't wanna play football in the rain. Oh wait, I wouldn't really wanna play football"
Oct 22, 11 "Did you ever notice how peeps never compare themselves to chopped liver anymore? There must be another meat that has taken over."
Nov 4, 11, "I don't mind looking silly if in the end I learn something."
Nov 8, 11, "RIP Joe Frazier, which reminds me ... why do fighters put their fists up in front of their faces and then flick their noses with their thumbs? Or is that just something I do when I imitate them?"
Nov 10, 11 "As I was skyping a friend yesterday, while checking emails and using my hey tell walkie talkie I thought maybe this technology thing was getting out of hand but I texted another friend and she said no so it's all good."
Nov 11, 11 "You have to water the plant or it will wither and die. Have you watered your relationships today?" two years in
Nov 17, 11 "Today I was with a friend trying to recall the exact date of JFK's assassination. Siri answered my question speedily. It felt like I was cheating on my old bf, google."
Nov 18, 11 "Just asked Siri about Ricky Gervais and she said let me look up Ricky jerk face. Everybody's a Comedian."
Nov 22, 11 "My daughter's birthday is coming up. She asked for a gift certificate or a car. She likes to give me a range."
Nov 30, 11 "Success is falling nine times and getting up ten - Jon Bon Jovi. He's more than just a head of hair."
Dec 5, 11 "Auto correct likes to catch everything but apparently Turrdsday is a perfectly fine substitution for Tuesday."
Dec 10, 11 "Just read a LinkedIn post that a haunted doll was for sale. Thought it was a joke. It was not. No longer laughing."
Dec 12, 11 "Note to self. Do not use lotion you know you are allergic to and never accidentally get said lotion in your eye. I don't wanna have to tell me again."
Dec 14, 11 "When you have three places to go in a day are you hiding in corners doing the Clark Kent wardrobe change or is that just me?"
Dec 15, 11 "I got added to a gun group the other day. That is not me in any sense of the word so i opted out. Now I can only hope they don't get mad, if you know what I mean"
Dec 17, 11 "You know when you're watching a TV drama and there's an intense conversation, then a 3rd person walks into the room with the perfect solution or addition to the problem? What they don't show you is that person leaning on the door with a glass listening for 15 minutes prior."
Dec 18, 11 "Did you ever google yourself and then see there is one death record out there for you and then contemplate buying the subscription to see the record to finally discover that you are in fact not dead? Me neither. I was just wondering."
Dec 21, 11 "RT on Twitter does not mean right turn. We can all learn from this."
Dec 30, 11 "Went to church today. They changed the words. You would think that with all the hints Mom throws my way to go to mass she would have mentioned the new script."
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